Ah, yes, hello. Here I am, yet again, wandering around the same part of the world map over and over. I’m surprised I haven’t managed to cull the White Tiger population near the city of Muse in Suikoden II, because I’ve been here for almost an hour and I’ve probably killed over 200 of these things. All for one darn rune.
‘Why do I do this to myself?’ I ask as I continue going through the motions: walk in a circle until I get into a random battle; make sure the enemies are tigers; run away if they’re little clockwork robots, or press fast-forward and auto-battle if they are tigers; defeat them; check the loot; roll my eyes when I don’t get a Double-Jab Orb (formerly known as a Double-Beat Orb which… uh, don’t think about the name too hard); rinse, repeat.
I eventually got one — and a second 15 minutes later — but this amusing habit I and other RPG lovers have of grinding for the rarest items sometimes gets a little out of hand.
I know you can get the Orb in the very first ‘dungeon’, where some adorable axe-wielding bunnies have a 2% chance of dropping one. Apparently, the drop rate from White Tigers is worse. Problem is, I tried that back when I first played the game seven years ago and didn’t get one after two hours of slaughtering the little lapins.
Honestly, I think I’m cursed. From Shiny Pokémon hunting to hit rates in Fire Emblem, video game percentages are clearly designed to act against me.
But it seems particularly bad when I want an extremely rare weapon or something that unlocks a skill, and a monster has a 0.8% chance of coughing up. You may as well slash that percentage in half for me. So, I’ll ask again: Why do I do this to myself?
Part of this comes from a compulsive desire to 100% everything, something I’ve tried to abandon in recent years because, otherwise, I’m never going to have time for other video games, hobbies, or even a normal life. But when you grow up playing collectathon platformers like Super Mario 64 or Banjo-Kazooie, and your introduction to RPGs is Pokémon Yellow (you know, the franchise with the tagline ‘gotta catch ‘em all’), it’s a hard habit to shake.
Things as simple as trying to get a female Starter Pokémon in some games meant I reset multiple times just so I had the 
symbol next to my Sobble’s name. In some people’s minds, I ‘wasted’ time on something that has very little effect gameplay-wise — there isn’t even any physical gender difference — but to me, it was important. So I spent, no joke, 45 minutes restarting Sword & Shield just to get a girl out of the gate. 12.5% my butt.
The Double-Jab Orb in Suikoden II isn’t exactly necessary, either. It’s a pretty easy game without it, so getting one (or three, as I had by the end) makes any potential challenge irrelevant. But what’s more fun than absolutely destroying everything in sight?
It’s the same with any Castlevania game. Aria of Sorrow is practically begging you to collect every single Soul, which means killing every enemy, often multiple times. Some enemies have absurdly high HP pools or defensive stats, so you have to get creative. Others appear in just one or two rooms in the whole map.
With the Sky Fish, it’s too fast to kill without the Chronomage Soul, and the timing to slow the fish down is pretty finicky. At least it’s a relatively common drop and is right next to a save room, but it doesn’t stop me seeing that room and hearing the Underground Reservoir music in my sleep.
Dawn of Sorrow is even worse about this, mostly because the Luck stat is actually broken. It wasn’t fixed in the Dominus Collection. But did that stop me killing the same two Valkyries over and over again, or attempting to get the Peeping Eye Soul so I could find all of the hidden rooms? No way. I don’t need any of these Souls to make the final boss easier (okay, the Valkyrie is very good). But I want it.
When does grinding for extremely rare drops get out of hand, then? What about spending six hours fighting Starman Supers in the Stonehenge Base in EarthBound, just for the Sword of Kings, Poo’s ultimate (and only) weapon.
I remember toiling over this weapon vividly. I can still hear the torrential English summer rain hammering against the window and the taste of tea as I sipped and scampered around the Base, fighting these extremely powerful Starmen and hoping that the 1/128 chance would tip in my favour this time.
I wouldn’t have felt so bad if this wasn’t the only time and place you could get the Sword of Kings – when you defeat the boss of the dungeon, you’re locked out of returning here. But you also can’t go there before you’re prompted. So this was my one chance. Thank goodness I was doing this on the Wii U.
But, folks, I did it – I got the Sword of Kings. Did it cost my sanity? A little. Was it worth it? No! Poo is actually better using magic, particularly on the final boss. So the Sword of Kings was really just a little trophy. I have to admit, though, I was satisfied. And that’s why I keep doing this to myself.
I don’t know if this will surprise you or not, but I’m not really a Trophy or Achievement hunter on other platforms. Particularly now, I don’t have the time to grind for hours on end for that super rare weapon or overpowered ability. But I also think I’ve just learned over the years that I’m destined to be unlucky in the RNG and drop-rate war. I probably shouldn’t play Monster Hunter Rise, then.
So, if you want advice on how to get KOS-MOS in Xenoblade Chronicles 2 or where to find a second (or even first) Auto Petter in Stardew Valley, then I’m probably not the right person to ask. But, while I won’t be dicing with 100% completion in most games anymore, I still get the itch to go against the odds and try my luck at an extra Double-Jab Rune or Valkyrie Soul.
Have you ever grinded for a rare drop in an RPG? How do you fare with drop rates? Let us know down below.
